Dude called here asking to give me a quote for health insurance. I said sure.

How old are you?
73
You are not.
Yes I am.
Well you're too old for our plans.
How old do you have to be?
64 or less.
I am 63.
OK
Do you have health insurance now?
No.
Do you smoke?
Yes, 10 packs a day. I'm very nervous.
Do you have any health issues?
Yes, I have terminal cancer, Lupus, and some minor mental problems.
Did you want to include your wife on this plan?
Yes, I have 8 of them.
You have 8 of them?
Yes, I live in Utah and it's perfectly legal.

Dude couldn't go on he was laughing so hard he had to hang up. I am starting to like sales calls now.

Nice

I'm running out of ideas to fuck with these people. I need help.

play retarded, like really mentally challenged. Specially if they are calling your work number.

I like jello!!!!

Tell them to hold and then make a loud bang like you fired a gun. Then ask them how to hide the body or you think the guy is dead and he needs to stay on the line with you until the cops come.

Or tell them you think your ex gave you an STD. Describe a rash or a smell to the caller. Ask if they know any remedies.

You are lucky he didn't catch you on the wives thing since it's not legal in the US to have more then one.

I personal like use the restaurant approach. Tell them the special of the day or ask if they would like to make a reservation depending on what restaurant I've decided to mimick that day.

Sometimes I tell them to hold and I never come back to the call. I just wait for them to hang up.

All good ideas. I should be able to perfect these in the next few weeks with as many bogus calls as I get here. I get wrong numbers all the time for some beauty shop too, and I always take appointments the same day. They are thrilled we have openings!

Another line I use is I tell them they have a nice voice. Depending if it's a dude or a chick and how sick you want to go, the sky's the limit.

I'm doing that one next. I bet I get further on the phone than BA has ever been.

That's so mean. Between BA and Fish, one of them is going to go postal in your shop one day.

Saw the i like jello on clsb. Lulz

They call looking for my boss all day. I like to put them on hold for a minute, then return to the phone sounding horrified and tell them I just discovered his dead body in his office.

Sometimes I just make fart sounds into the phone.